if you don’t know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you’ve never gazed into the cold wild eyes of a hare and known that if it could speak it would speak backwards
Jack Rabbits are North American Hares and they’re the WORST to encounter at night becuase:
You all know how big a rabbit is. Jack Rabbits and hares are much bigger. they’re the size of large cats or small dogs or just-walking-age children.
They also like to hang out in gangs of a hlf dozen to over 30.
and in the middle of backcountry dirt roads.
perhaps they’re dustbathing
or blood sacrifce
I don’t know because when you come up the road at night because your dog has a tiny bladder and needs to go out at midnight and you have no yard so you’re walking him on the dirt road around your neighborhod because you might aw well get some stargazing in, and you come just over the ridge to see a coven of twenty jackrabbits in the middle of the road
and
they
all
stand
up
not just onto all fours like a proper prey animal
No they get up on thier hind legs and don’t just sit but STAND like tiny rabbit-skinned toddlers, wobbing slightly as they stare directly at you eyes shining in your flashlight’s glow
…Blood Red.
And a chill goes through you on that warm july night because while they’re a puntable size and allegedly herbivores they’re standing and watching you just like people and you are vastly outnumbered.
everyone freezes
you’re considering your odds aganst roughly 200lbs of Suspiciously Humanoid Hare
and they’re considering their odds against you
the only sound in the never-ending high desert wind
somewhere in your peripheral vision you can see the streetlights but they seem awfully far away
The nearest Jack Rabbit
Blinks
and takes a single shuffling step
forward
You area an overdevloped monkey and your prefrontal cortex is capable of some amazing feats but it runs very slowly compared to the reflexes of a rabbit and you’re frozen as you desperately scramble for the appropriate course of action, hands feeling thick and useless, mouth dry and feet imeasurably heavy there’s no way you’d outrun THESE, god there’s a rabies outbreak going around that shit’s not curable-
The Dog
L U N G E S
It’s only the briefest of movements but the animal you’d picked out for his gangly legs and floppy ears and goofy smile is suddenly a dark shape of muscle and teeth and had flung himself at the horrible goblin rabbits faster than mere physics should dictate, appearing in the circle of the flashlight for only the briefest of moments before the jolt from the leash makes you stumble and the light falters
The Jack Rabbits
Scatter
Vanishing into the faintly starlit sagebrush in as so many faint gray shapes that might be mistaken for the dustclouds they kick up
Later, you sit on the couch disquieted
and you wonder
If the sight of the Jack Rabbits standing and studying you was frightening enough to make you yearn for the safety of the yellowed streetlights
what must it be like from thier end?
what terrifying creature
deliberately ties itself
to something so horrible
As a Dog?
@gallusrostromegalus that last bit gave me such a strong mental image I absolutely had to draw it
WELL HOLY SHIT.
CONGRATULATE, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.
is it ok if I print it out and stick it on the fridge?
I find it very touching that collectively everyone looked at Wayne Munson with his gruff voice and his blue collar job, his cigarettes and his conspiracy theories, his southern accent and his small town Indiana residence, and said this man is either a die-hard queer ally or queer himself. And I love that because we are everywhere. We have gruff small town uncles and we are gruff small town uncles. We should remember that.
Okay so I have a few experts I need to share from the story “Surprise!” by Nichelle Nichols, published in The New Voyages II in 1978.
It’s about the crew throwing Kirk a surprise party, and Spock running around trying to keep Kirk from finding out (at Uhura’s request), and it is bonkers. Kirk and Spock flirt so much, both with each other and also with Uhura (get it, girl!). Let’s just get into it…
Talking about birthday spankings on the second page of the story. Nichelle is not messing around.
Then a couple of pages later, Kirk is teasingly asking Spock to tuck him in and Spock actually teases him back and then Kirk has to back down because he’s not sure Spock wouldn’t follow through.
Afterwards, Spock is all “phew, resisted that temptation” and talking about how his Vulcan decorum is “none too secure” when it comes to Kirk and this was published in 1978.
And then…. oh boy, I have to include this entire page and a half. I have to!
(Scott’s eyes “did not even widen” what fresh gay hell is this)
I do not wanna know what mental gymnastics Spock performed to go from “must distract Kirk” to picking him up and carrying him around but I’m sure it was all very logical.
(Also, “Kirk whispered silkenly”? Nichelle actually writes Kirk as not only very flirty in this story but kind of seductive in an almost demure sort of way. I’m very into it)
Then later, Uhura is in Spock’s cabin for plot related reasons, while Kirk is in the shared bathroom showering. And then for whatever reason
Kirk enters Spock’s cabin in nothing but a towel, still dripping wet from his shower. Is this a common occurrence????
Next is my favorite bit (aside from Spock’s completely necessary and flawlessly logical decision to pick Kirk up and carry him around like his newlywed bride, of course)
Kirk and Spock are in Spock’s cabin and Kirk thinks he hears something in the next room. It’s Uhura and co, but since Kirk isn’t supposed to know about the surprise party juuust yet, Spock goes full gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss on his ass
Spock knows exactly which buttons to push to most effectively distract Kirk. Kirk’s actually blushing and I am going insane
(1978!!!)
That is a direct reference to Amok Time. Nichelle Nichols, you beautiful genius.
But we’re not quite done!
I just. I can’t get over how obvious this is. Kirk is blushing and bashfully looking at Spock over the rim of his glass and flirting like there’s no tomorrow. Insane. Insane!
In short, thank you, Nichelle Nichols for your service and thank you @1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt for bringing this story to my attention.